For to me, to live is Christ

Philippians 1:21 (NIV)
²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

I like to be happy, and lots of things can make me happy.  Spending time with my wife, children and grandchildren makes me happy.  Ice cream can make me happy.  I'm happy when I'm on vacation in Nova Scotia where my everyday concerns seem so far away.

I think we would all agree that given the right circumstances or situation, or flavor of Four Seas ice cream, it is easy for us to find happiness.

I drafted the opening paragraph on the evening of July 25th before going to bed to reflect on the character of Paul who despite his situation (imprisonment) found great joy in Christ. (Phil. 1:21)

What about me?  Can I make that same statement?  I want to say, "Well, yeah.  Of course, it's true."

But on the evening of July 26 my situation changed.  I wasn't thinking of ice cream or vacations.  I was in the hospital awaiting emergency eye surgery.  I was thinking, "What's going on?  Will I get my sight back?  Will it hurt?"

In those hours I could claim the sufficiency of Christ, but it was in the back of my mind and I kept having to bring it forward.  Calmness and fear kept passing by me like two very different looking horses on a carousel.

A second, more involved operation was required a week later.  The healing process involves some pain and discomfort, even though the original symptoms were painless.  It involves some discipline.  Following the doctor's orders is not easy.  More procedures are required in the coming months.

A dear friend of mine has asked and will ask again, "So what has God been talking to you about during this time?"

So today, August 28th, here is my answer.  God has given me the precious gift of time alone with Him.  I have never fully appreciated how precious it is.  I am His child despite the fact that in so many ways I am not like Him.  He loves me enough to not let me stay the way I am, but in His time with me He desires to shape my heart to be like His.  He is not finished with me.  There is still work to be done.

Like Paul, I want a heart that prays for my brothers and sisters.  I want for them what Christ wants for them; hearts that abound in love, in real knowledge and all discernment, so that they may discover and approve the things that are excellent, so that they may be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ.  I want for them to be filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes from Christ to the glory and praise of God. (Phil 1:9-11)

I want that heart.  I need that heart.

I want and need people to pray that prayer for me.  I am so grateful for a friend who keeps asking, "What is God talking to you about?"  I desperately need that.  Please keep asking.

For to me, to live is Christ.